In Memory of Cedric Diggory
by scribbler567
Summary: Minerva and Severus reflect on the events following the death of Cedric Diggory.


**A/N: I haven't done a Harry Potter piece in a while, but here's one! Thank you to McGonagall's Bola for being an amazing Beta reader! I don't know where I'm going with "When Life Claims You", but I'll definitely try to keep adding stuff to my page. **

Severus followed behind Minerva, practically stepping on her heels as she walked briskly away from the Great Hall. By the way she wrapped her tartan shawl around herself, he knew she wasn't okay. Her shoulders were hunched and her head was down. If there was one thing he knew about the stubborn Gryffindor, it was that she carried herself proudly. Even from the back, Minerva didn't look like herself.

If she knew he was following behind her, she didn't show it, but if she didn't know then when she did notice him she didn't seem very surprised. One could never tell with Minerva.

As they turned a corner, green eyes met brown. "Whatever do you want, Severus?" she asked in her normal, stern tone. However, that night her voice held a bitterness that stung even his cold heart. "I would think that you should be celebrating tonight, eh? After all, it's another victory for your people, isn't it?"

Severus felt his stomach churn. He hadn't expected to be hit with such a hard blow. "What the hell are you talking about?" he asked angrily, balling his hands into fists.

"I saw you. You Disapparated from the school right after Potter came back with the body. I heard you and Karkaroff talking all throughout this year. I don't think it's a huge secret." Her eyes darted around the hall. She couldn't look him in the eye. That was the first thing Severus noticed. Her confidence was tearing as was his patience.

"I—" he began, but he couldn't find the words to finish. He wanted to tell Minerva the truth; he wanted to tell her that he was working undercover and that he was on her side. He didn't want to blow his cover; he didn't want to hurt Albus and his plan. "You don't know anything about me."

"Don't know anything," she replied, mocking him. "I know a lot more than you think. You may have all of these others fooled, but I know who you really are. I know you're still on _his _side. Some marks just can't be erased. Tonight proves it all."

"What do you know? You heard me talking to another staff member, and you didn't see me after Potter came back and claimed he saw the Dark Lord. What proof do you have?" Severus had followed Minerva to help her, but now he was defending himself and his reputation, which was a hard task to accomplish when his name was so stained with his mistakes.

Minerva glared at him. Her stare through her glasses was enough to make anyone fall to their knees. Severus felt his hands trembling. "Leave me alone," she hissed. A tear slipped her eye, and upon seeing this, Severus felt the anger in him drain. He had never seen her cry in all the years he had known her.

"What are you staring at?" she asked, her voice cracking slightly.

"Minerva…"

As he took a step closer to her, she jumped back. "Leave me alone!" she shouted. Turning away, Minerva practically ran down the hallway. Severus tried following only to have her bedroom door slammed in his face.

Cursing under his breath, he began walking away. His entire body was trembling. Sometimes he hated Minerva. What she had said to him had hit him harder than any of the spells that Voldemort could throw at him. She had brought the truth to him, and the truth hurt. Of course she didn't know the whole truth, but she knew enough to get to him. If she had insulted everything about him and physically hurt him, it would have been much less pain. Although she was the only staff member he considered to be his "friend", she knew how to hurt him.

A few students walked past him, crying and hugging each other. The best he could do was ignore them. Deep down, he wanted to comfort them. They reminded him so much of Lily as a child. Seeing them cry reminded him of the time he made her cry and the grief he felt still. It had happened over twenty years before, yet Severus still longed to comfort her from the pain he had caused her by calling her that dreaded name. It was something he would never ever forgive himself for.

"Severus." He jumped when the familiar voice called his name from behind him. Turning around, he saw Albus standing behind him, extending his hand and touching the Potion Master's shoulder. "Have you seen Minerva?"

"Yes," Severus replied sharply. "I have, and I will not be speaking to her again, Headmaster."

"What happened?" Albus asked, leading Severus down the hall towards his office. They climbed the stairs into his office and took a seat. The warm quarters of Albus Dumbledore made Severus release some of the tension building up inside of him. Albus had been the first person to accept him and to trust him, and Severus would never forget it. He could see tear stains down the old man's face. The funeral had been one of the most tragic things to take place at Hogwarts in decades. Surely losing one of his best students hadn't been easy for Albus.

For Severus it was easy. Sure he had cared about Cedric, but he hadn't had much interaction with the Hufflepuff, and he hadn't been particularly fond of him. The boy had been a bit of a snob, and he had reminded Severus of the boys who he had hated during his years at the school. Aside from that, Severus had built up a sort of immunity to death. It wasn't something he was proud of, but after working with the Dark Lord for so long and killing so many, the thought didn't phase Severus. In some ways it made his life much easier although it meant it was a sad one.

"Minerva knows," Severus said at long last.

"Knows?"

"She knows I'm still working for Voldemort."

Albus nodded. "I see. Does she know that you are under my orders?"

"No! Of course not!" Severus exclaimed defensively. "I would never reveal your secrets, Albus."

Stroking his white beard, he leaned back in his chair. "Tell her."

"Excuse me?"

"Tea, Severus?" The old man rose and picked up a teapot and two cups. He had never been more confused.

"Did you just tell me to tell someone your plan? We made an agreement that this would remain a secret as long as I did what you told me. This was a deal between us, Albus. I hardly think that we should go out and start telling people my true intentions. That would ruin the entire purpose of your plan."

Pouring two cups of the hot drink, Albus handed him one. "I did."

Rolling his eyes, Severus pushed the tea away. "And why the hell would I do that?"

"May I ask you a question, Severus?" He nodded, unsure of where the whole conversation was going. "Do you trust Minerva?"

"It depends."

"On?"

He took a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh. "It depends on who needs her trust. If you needed her, I would trust her to carry out whatever you needed. If it was me, I wouldn't trust her."

"What makes you think that _you_ can't trust her, but I can?"

"She doesn't trust or like me."

"On the contrary, I do believe that she trusts you, Severus."

"Then explain why she said what she said earlier."

Rubbing his temples, Albus looked down at his teacup. "Minerva is a very emotional woman. She holds things in longer than most people can. I expect that due to events in her earlier life, she has developed a very hard exterior. She often says things in a bitter way when she is most upset. I—"

"That doesn't excuse what she said to me," Severus interrupted.

"It may explain why she said it. We all know that as strict as she is, Minerva is just as protective of her students, even ones in other houses. When you were bullied in school, she was the only teacher who continuously asked me to expel her own students out of concern for you." Severus widened his eyes, never knowing that the stubborn witch had stood up for him when he was so young. "I think that's why she is so hurt by the choices you later made. She cared for you very much when you were a child, and I believe she still does. She's not stupid. She knows just as well as all of us that Voldemort is back. She has been telling me for years that another war is approaching. I think she's scared. I think she's scared that you're going to go back to being on his side. When she saw that you were summoned the night that Cedric was killed, I think that it scared her even more, but not for herself, for you. The funeral, I believe, is bringing it all out."

Severus opened his mouth to speak, but soon closed it, gathering his thoughts before he said something. "I still don't understand why you want me to tell her of the plan we have been hiding for years."

"My time is running out, Severus, and soon she will be leading our forces against his. In order to properly maintain control of the school, she will need to know. Minerva can help you, Severus. She is a damn strong woman. I believe you will find her a wonderful ally, but a nasty enemy. I suggest making friends with her before it's too late."

"I don't… I can't tell her the truth."

"And why not?"

"I just… I told you…"

Albus sipped his tea. "I am aware of what you told me, however times are changing. Things aren't going to stay the same, and we must change with them."

Nodding, Severus stood from the chair. "I'm going to go."

Making his way to the door, he heard Albus call his name again. "Make sure that she's alright, won't you?"

Severus reluctantly agreed.

The door to her rooms was locked, and a spell kept it guarded so nobody could break in. He knocked. "Minerva!" he shouted. "Open the door!" Nothing happened. "Minerva! Please!" Still nothing. "Albus sent me." Severus stepped back from the door, cursing Albus for making him face her again. The only thing he wanted was to go to sleep. It had been a trying day for everyone in the castle. Suddenly the door slowly opened and the witch stood in the doorway clad in a tartan nightgown. Her hair was in a lose braid that went down her back.

"What is it?" she asked bitterly.

"May I come in?"

"No."

Severus pushed past her, stepping into her chambers. He had never been in her rooms before. They were fairly simple. She had a large bed in the very corner, a small sofa and various picture frames spread throughout. Her bedsheets were, of course, tartan print. A small table held a tea set. The fireplace wasn't lit, and her rooms were very cold. He wondered how she could stand it. "What the hell do you want, Severus?"

Turning to face her, he found his breath caught in his throat. She looked terrible. Her eyes had bags beneath them, and he could see tear stains across her cheeks. Although no tears were falling now, Severus knew that she was on the verge of them. "Albus asked me to check on you."

She groaned. "Oh, he thinks I can't handle myself?"

Severus shook his head, seeing her shivering beneath her thin pajamas. "Quite the contrary. I believe that he thinks you are a most capable woman."

"Then why did he send you?"

"We were worried about you," Severus said in a matter-of-fact manner.

"We?"

"I mean he… Albus."

"I see, well you can tell Albus that I do not need anyone to check on me. I'm perfectly fine in my own chambers and do not need a sitter." She angrily pulled her door open again. "Goodnight, Severus."

Severus walked towards her, sliding his hand between hers and the door, shutting it once more. "Sit down," he commanded her.

She glared at him, her emerald eyes filled with emotions he couldn't read. "These are my rooms, Severus, and I suggest you respect that."

The Potions Master took her arm, finding she was trembling in his grip. He led her to the sofa, and she reluctantly sat down. She was still shivering, and Severus cast a silent spell, lighting the fireplace in front of them. The flames lit up the room, and he got an even closer look at her face. "I understand that these are your rooms."

Taking a seat next to her, he wasn't sure what to say. He cared about her. She was his only friend besides Albus, and Albus wouldn't care about him if he wasn't a part of his plan. Minerva had always cared for him. They sat in silence for a long time until she surprisingly broke it. "Would you like tea, Severus?"

It was the second time he had been offered tea that night, and this time he awkwardly accepted it. Minerva poured the teacups, and he was looking down at his feet when he heard a loud crash behind him. He jumped and turned around to see Minerva standing still without the pot in her hands. "Are you alright?" he asked, rushing to her.

"Fine," she said, her shoulders tense. When she reached out to pick up the pieces, Severus noticed blood dripping from her hand. The china had cut her.

"Go wash that off," he said, motioning to the bathroom. "I'll take care of this." Minerva nodded as he took his wand and muttered, "Reparo." He walked to where she was in the bathroom and saw her leaning over the sink, all of the blood gone from her hands. "Minerva?"

She hung her head down as she gripped the edge of the sink. "Why are you here, Severus?"

"What?"

"Why are you here?" she asked, turning to face him. Her hair was slightly in her face and tears were welling in her eyes. He had never seen her look so weak. Minerva McGonagall had always been the strongest witch he had known. He had only ever seen her that way. With tears welling in her already red eyes, she looked helpless. Although it had lessened since Severus had lit the fire, her body still trembled slightly. Whether it was from the cold of emotion, he didn't know.

"I told you why."

"No! Tell me, Severus!" she exclaimed, her voice catching in her throat. "Tell me the truth!"

Severus stared at her, watching as she struggled not to break down. "Minerva, I told you. Albus sent me."

"Albus sent you to check on me, not to stay here. I'll ask one more time, why are you _still_ here?"

"I—" Severus wasn't going to tell her the truth. He wasn't going to tell her that _he_ was worried about her. He wasn't going to tell her about his true identity even though that was all Albus wanted him to do, but what else was he supposed to say?

"I'm waiting," she said harshly.

"Goodnight, Minerva," he muttered, walking out of her bathroom towards the door. The witch grabbed his wrist, pulling him towards her. For a woman her age, she certainly had a great deal of physical strength.

"You're not leaving until you tell me why you're still here. Why didn't you leave?"

Severus closed his eyes; he wanted to tell her that he cared. He wanted to tell her everything. He just needed someone to know, and he needed it to be her. Severus was tired of living a lie, and he wanted Minerva to be the one who knew. It was so tempting. The words were begging to slide off of his tongue.

With a shaking hand and a reeling mind, unsure of why he was doing so, he reached out to cup her cheek with one hand. Her eyes widened, but she slowly grasped his hand, her fingers soft against his skin. She looked up at him, tears welling in her eyes again. Minerva McGonagall looked helpless.

Severus leaned in and gently kissed her.

Their lips touched for only a moment, because he quickly pulled away, afraid of what he had done. He didn't know how Minerva would react. Severus didn't even know why he had kissed her. He wasn't sure how he was feeling.

After the first kiss, Minerva had tears streaming down her cheeks, and Severus let go of her and backed away, ashamed at having made the strong woman cry. "Minerva… I'm sorry, I—"

Minerva reached out and took his hand, the tears still coming. "Severus," she managed to croak out as she struggled between sobs.

"Please, I'll go," he said, not wanting to hurt her any more than he had.

"No!" she exclaimed, squeezing his hand tightly.

Looking in her reddened eyes, Severus saw that she didn't want him to leave. Slowly, he pulled her into a hug, and she embraced back, gripping to his shoulders as her head buried in his neck, wetting the exposed skin. As the small woman held to him, Severus was unsure of what to do. Nobody had ever held him that way. She was sobbing harder and harder the longer he held her. It scared him. Minerva McGonagall was the strongest woman he knew; she had always been the person he looked up to when he needed to keep going. She had always been the same, and she had always been calm and strong. The approaching war was even breaking her.

Severus placed a hand on the back of her head, whispering in her ear, telling her that it was okay. "Minerva, it's alright. I promise. Please just hold on."

As her sobs began to subside, she pulled away from Severus, still gripping to his arms. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I don't know what came over me."

"It's okay," he replied, awkwardly tucking a piece of hair behind her ear that had come out of her braid. "It's Diggory, isn't it?"

She nodded, breaking away from him and attempting to straighten herself. Severus could see that she was trembling, her hands grasping each other tightly. "I let it happen."

"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "How was any of this your fault?"

"I… I told Albus not to host the Triwizard Tournament, but he kept telling me that it would be alright and that it would be perfectly safe. I tried to tell him not to, but," she broke off, hiccupping slightly before she could continue, "He wouldn't listen. But, I send the owl. I was the one who was stupid and sent the owl and let that damn Death Eater come into this school. If I hadn't sent it, then none of this would have happened!" She was stopped by hiccups again. "He's back, Severus! He's back, and I can't do anything anymore! Albus won't tell me anything. He walks around with all these damn secrets, but he won't tell me what's going on. I'm supposed to be his right hand, but I don't know where he is or what he's doing half the time! How the hell can I protect these kids if I can't even know how to?" Her fists were clenched at her side, and her entire body was now shaking in anger the louder she shouted. Severus let her continue, knowing she probably needed to let out the frustration that she had let build up over the years. He knew her well enough to know she never let emotions slip no matter how much they were torturing her inside. "Now we've lost a student! And I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it!"

She had gone from frustration with herself to frustration with Albus in a short amount of time, and Severus knew at that moment that the old man had been right. Minerva needed to know. She _deserved _to know what he and Albus were planning and what they had been doing over the years. Even if it only gave her a little peace of mind, she deserved it. He took a deep breath and walked towards her again, wrapping an arm around her waist. For some reason, it felt so natural with her, and she leaned into his side. He wasn't sure if it was just her conflicted emotions that were making her so comfortable with him, but he let it slide, enjoying the contact between them.

"Minerva?"

"Yes, Severus," she replied.

"Sit down on the sofa." She pulled away, looking up at him, but obeying and walking towards the large piece of furniture by the fire. Together they took a seat, barely looking at each other. "Minerva, I may not know everything that Albus hides from you, but I think there is one thing you need to know."

She widened her eyes, looking up at him. "What is it?"

Severus cleared his throat, trying to prepare himself. He had never told anyone of his arrangement with Albus, and he wasn't sure what to tell her. Nobody had ever known except Albus, and Severus didn't have the eloquence to explain everything to her. "Minerva, I need to tell you what…" He stopped, unsure of how to explain it. Much to his dismay, Minerva took his hand and gently caressed it. He squeezed her hand, finding an odd comfort in her touch. "I'm not who you think I am. I mean, I am, but there's more to it."

Minerva smiled slightly, encouraging him to go on. The elder witch didn't seem phased by his awkwardness. It made him feel almost like her student again. She was so much wiser and more intelligent and skilled than him.

"I'm working for the Order. I… I'm a spy. Because of my connections to the Dark Lord, I have been playing for both sides. That's why you saw me leave the day that He returned. I have to convince Voldemort that I am working for him by teaching here and becoming close to Albus. In reality, it's the other way of course, but he can't know that. Voldemort thinks that I am his servant, and he values me so much that he put me to the task of gathering information from the Order. However, I have been bringing the information I gain from the Death Eaters to Albus."

He stopped, allowing her to take in the information. She let go of his hand, resting it on her lap. "Severus, you're like bait; Albus is just using you to get information…" Her green eyes looked into his with deep concern buried in them.

"I made the agreement. I made it for Lily." Severus's voice was lost as he held his emotions in, careful not to let them slip. He had trained himself to avoid all emotions and to block out all things that upset him. It was the only way he could do what he did each day.

"What do you mean?"

"When I found out that the Dark Lord was planning to destroy Harry, I begged for Voldemort to spare Lily, but he wouldn't. So I had to go to Albus, and he agreed but only if I became his spy. And I did but..."

"She died anyway," Minerva finished quietly.

Severus took a deep breath, swallowing back the lump in his throat. "And now that He's back… I must continue to do the same thing. Albus says that you must know."

"But Severus, why can't we protect you? Please… just join our side."

"No, Minerva."

"But Severus—"

"No! Minerva, I have a job for Albus, and I intend to do it. You cannot tell anyone for if word gets out then I'll be killed and Albus's plan will be ruined. My job is now to protect Harry, and I will do whatever it is Albus wants to accomplish that."

He stood from the sofa, his body tense from having told about the life he lived. Severus reached for the doorknob, but then stopped and looked back at her. "Can I trust you with this information, Minerva?"

The witch nodded, standing and grasping his hand again. The touch felt so right. He didn't know what was causing his sudden attraction to his former teacher. "Thank you, Severus."

"For what?"

"For caring. For caring for me all these years. I suspect that if we take this night into consideration we might even call each other friends."

He found himself twitching his lips into an awkward, small smile. "I'd like that. I'd like that very much."

Minerva squeezed his hand tighter, bringing herself to stand in front of him. Her other hand found its way to the doorknob and slowly pulled his fingers from the handle. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. When her lips had left his skin, Severus found himself wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her on the lips. This time the kiss deepened and lasted longer than previous one. Severus enjoyed the feeling, and when they broke for air, he found himself blushing. The witch was making him very happy.

"Since I came here to check on you," he whispered, "Are you feeling any better?"

Minerva hugged him. "I must admit you have proven to be a very good distraction from today's events." She dropped her gaze, biting her lip slightly.

"It's going to take time to heal," Severus replied. "But you're strong, and I know that you'll get through it. We have some dark times ahead, Minerva. Promise me one thing?"

She nodded.

"No matter what happens, you'll remember tonight?"

"I will, Severus, I will." She sighed. "Will you promise me something?"

"Yes."

"Will you always remember Cedric Diggory? I know you're not exactly a fan of your students… but… but the boy was so young, and he had a future ahead of him and…" Minerva trailed off, her voice hitching again.

Severus put a hand up to avoid any more tears. The woman was exhausted enough; she didn't need to get upset again. "I may seem heartless, but I promise I'm not. I will always remember Cedric Diggory just as I will remember tonight." With that he kissed her again, unsure what lay ahead for the two professors.


End file.
